Successful therapy for couples relies on a variety of factors. In order to make a shift, all partners must be eager. If one has already chosen to give up and will not re-engage, then it is possibly difficult to achieve success. Before your friendship has eroded too far, the trick is to get to a therapist. You can’t expect good outcomes if one or both of you are only going through the motions to show that you’ve left no stone unturned before you break. -click to find out more
But counselling can benefit even very distressed couples if there is any hope at all in remaining together. Having a therapist who is skilled in marriage and family therapy, which needs different abilities from individual counselling, is essential. Chances are high that you will both be helped by a couples therapist dedicated to helping people make meaningful changes.
A therapist is willing to:
Make your relationship look different to you. You are used to your relationship being viewed through the prism of your experience. There’s nothing wrong with that, unless it affects your relationship’s success. You can help a therapist see things more critically. He may watch how you communicate with your partner and, in a specific sense, begin to understand what happens to you and your partner. If you are both under financial stress, for instance, your relationship is likely to be strained as well. In more adaptive ways, you can begin to see yourself and your partner and the way you communicate.
Identify disruptive behaviour. There is some unhealthy behaviour that can sink any relationship: substance abuse, physical or emotional abuse, aggression. If one partner participates in such destructive behaviour and if the other partner allows it, a therapist can make an evaluation. These cases can require specialised therapy. If the behaviour is not too serious, however, an efficient therapist may help couples improve the way they act with each other. They will help strengthen your relationship and recommend solutions to help you avoid the escalation of disputes out of control.
Support to articulate your true emotions. In your youth, conduct you have experienced often carries over into your adult relationships. You may avoid opening up to your partner if you were a child who was supposed to be seen but not heard, a child who was berated for being too emotional, a child who was taught to conceal her true feelings. But that puts you at risk of being distant emotionally and can drive a wedge between your partner and you. A good therapist will make you feel more secure sharing your true needs in order to be emotionally connected to you and your partner.
Coaching you to connect successfully. You need your partner to be supportive and compassionate until you share your true feelings. Sarcasm or apathy or criticism or mockery have no place here. That’s just going to create more friction. You and your partner will be directed by a good therapist to listen actively and empathically and to respond appropriately. It is no coincidence that contact is being continuously touted as important to a successful marriage. But often, to help you see how you and your partner can connect better, a therapist is required.